Day 29: Salam Ma

Nampak nya bunga akan berkembang lagi dia rumah baru Ma❤️

Salam Ma

Dapat tadi paginya, your D2 told me. She got the saMe.

Words hurt! Simple sorry won’t do…

Time heals, so you just have to wait… for now.

And she came back but NEVER utter a word to us…

Well, actions speak louder than words😑

Updated: 12092021 € 0526 for the screenshot 

Salam Ma

Alhamdulillah, hari ni pepagi semua anak Ma 3 beradik dapat berkunjung melawat Ma bersama gd3. 

Dah lama tak pergi bersama♥️

  

Izzh3 pun join sekali. Izzh4 tak sempat nak join. Katanya tgk2 dah pergi… 

Nampak banyak sungguh semut kat daun2 kat pokok Ma. 

Mesti tgh berzikir utk Ma skali tu kan…❤️

Salam Ma…

Alhamdulillah, pagi tadi dapat jugak melawat rumah baru Ma bersama Izzl3, izzh3 & izzh4. 

Ramai jugak yg kesana di pagi Jumaat, tapi Ma ada tetamu istimewa, anak buluS lebat ikut jugak tadi…. Senyap je dia, harap berzikirlah jua utk Ma ❤️

Tadi lepas Isyak pun anak2 Ma ber3 dpt sama2 membaca Yassen utk Ma.  

Alhamdulillah. 

Cerita semalam harus dilupakan, yang pasti I'm not sure whts gonna happen but I'll just let it be… 

Owh ya, tadi during Weekly Meeting Sixma; selepas balik dr rumah baru Ma; KakNik asked wht's my take of today's ITQAN dalam KERJA. 

I just can't talk Ma, bcos below is mine

"Priority terhadap IBU sepanjang zaman. Keberkatan dr IBU itu penting…

Kalau IBU dah tiada, banyakkan baca quran, sedekah etc utk dpt keberkatan."

Sent from my iPhone

Dear Ma,

 I’ve read this HERE on Signs & Symptoms of Intermittent Explosive Disorder

Maybe I should be more undertaking, but I can’t just forget the words she said. 

Words could always cut you deeper than sword ⚔️ . 

That’s the reason I usually, always hold myself in SocMed.

But still… It hurts so much Ma…

I don’t think D3 and me would ever forget the words she coughed up to our face, with her finger pointing to our face!

What we said so wrong that could cause such rage? Such hatred? 

Does she bottled up so much issues in her, just waiting for the right moment to let it go?

I did asked her Ma… but the “darah” thingy came out of her.

I did said that we only have each other in this world. 

That will always puzzled me…

But I guess, she has everything she needs and no one else matters…

Salam Ma

 I was nearly posting this Ma, with the caption of 

No. 5: What if that person if your own family member? Then again, she did said “Dalam darah aku takde setitik pun darah kau!!!”

…. in response to this 👇🏾. Why do I have to be a bigger person, always? 

Aren’t I allowed to post all these shits as well? Butuh kan my makNgah?

I am 46 now, I have no luxury dealing with all these negativity…

And I’ve lost you, Ma. What else is there in life then?

Maaf Ma

 But I  can’t just forget her words

“DARAH AKU XDE SETITIK PUN DARAH KAU!!!”

Salam Ma sayang…

 Rupanya A Ceneh yg datang, Alhamdulillah…

Maaf Ma,

Hari ni tidak berkesempatan mengunjungi rumah baru Ma. 

Kereta D3 masih di workshop. Kereta D2 tidak berfungsi. Basikal Ma pun xleh dikayuh. Kena baiki nampaknya…

Buat pertama kalinya, tidak berjumpa Ma dirumah baru. 

Harap Ma tak sedih.  InshaAllah harap bacaan yassin setiap hari tiada noktahnya…

Aaminnnnn…

Oh ya. D1 dah balik selepas maghrib tadi. I guess gd3 bersama nya tadi. Tak sure tho if gd2 is with her.

Semua masuk dalam bilik Ma. Senyap.

Tadi D2 membaca yassin keseorangan, tidak seperti kebiasaan. Bersama anak2 & cucu Ma.

Maaf lagi Ma. 

Is it my fault? Should I have just hold my anger? But I have my conscience intact Ma.

I believe she NEVER said she has ONLINE class. gd2 & gd3 were discussing on UIA comment and we are all getting ready to go out just after tht, whereby I just had my zohor.

Ma sayang…

 Izzah1 just told me gd2 has left the house with a girl friend.

Should I tell the mom or not?

Ma sayang…

 It’s been 12 days  since you left us…

It’s hard… we had a bloody big row today. 

It was between me & you beloved gd2; then it’s escalated with the involvement of D1 & D3.

Sedihnya ma…

Parah nya hati ni fikir, macamana bleh terfikir di benak fikirannya, sampai ke situ sekali pemikirannya.

D1 left the house with gd3, I talked to gd2; but she just gave me the hands…

I just do not know what to do. Do not know how to talk to her. 

She ber AKU ENGKAU with her mom, siapalah kami ni plak…

I asked her afterwards, with the absents of her mom & gd3;

Why?

Kenapa perlu marah smpai mcm tu? Kenapa perlu benci satu dunia?

What did we do wrong? What makes her so mad with the whole world?

I just cant get through her Ma… 

Even when d3 talked tru the wall, she just ignored us…

In the end, 

I just let it be…

She just wana be ALONE in this world I guess…

We both [me & d3] are nothing to her…